He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call!

It’ amazing how much things can change and how quickly God can make it happen! He amazes me. 

So, everything in my life was just spinning out of control. Andy and I were struggling with some things in our marriage, I was really tired of being taken advantage of by the parents of the little guy that I watch, my kids were acting out—probably picking up on my stress—and we had some medical issues with Landon. I was really tired, angry and hurt. I didn’t like the way I was feeling and I didn’t like the person I was turning into because of those feelings.  I didn’t how to change it. Then I realized that I was relying on my own powers, rather than trusting the Lord to do what He thought was best. Last Sunday night, I literally just fell to my knees and poured out my heart to Him.  Every little thing that I was feeling and thinking or was worried about…..even the trivial day-to-day things……I just told Him about it. I laid it all at His feet and relinquished my control and gave Him the power to do what He needed to in my life.  And He has been so gracious and merciful to me!

We took Landon in for tests Monday morning. The test for cystic fibrosis came back negative…Praise the Lord. His blood work showed some signs of infection, so we followed up with his pediatrician on tuesday and they discovered that he still has not been able to completely get rid of this ear infection that he’s been battling for several weeks now. This has always been a re-occurring problem for him, so we are meeting with the ENT doctor on the 24th to get things rolling so he can have tubes put in his ears. We did it with Connor and it helped tremendously, so we are just thankful that we know what’s going on with him and it’s a pretty simple ‘fix.’ He still has his appointment with the pediatric polmologist in Chapel Hill on tuesday, but overall, he is doing much better and we are very grateful for that.

I had a very long rough weekend with the little baby that I watch. He was cranky Sunday morning, but we went to church anyways, and got pulled out of Sunday School because he had a fever, so we had to leave church and come home. I was so disappointed. I tried to call him parents, and of course, they wouldn’t answer the phone. When they did finally come to get, I just had to get firm with them and re-iterate that this week would be my VERY LAST with him. They still didn’t seem to take me seriously, but then tuesday rolled around and they came to pick up him and said that they had found another daycare provider and he was starting the next day. I was happy and sad at the same time. I love the little guy to death. I’ve watched him since he was 3 months old and he has just turned one, and I’ve been there for many  of his “firsts.” But I knew that I need to alleviate the stress of dealing with his parents and that this was best for all of us. It ended on very good terms and they even sent me a beautiful flower arrangement the next day to thank me for everything and it meant alot to me. It’s weird how much free time I have now, but I’m really enjoying it. 

Work is going great!!!! I love it! I made more in tips working only 5 hours on monday night, than I made in a week babysitting. It’s fast-paced and alot of fun and it keeps me busy. The owners are very particular about keeping it formal and “upscale” and they fired 4 servers this week and I was a little nervous, but they each pulled me aside and told me that I was doing a great job and how much they liked me and that they felt comfortable putting me on the schedule now for friday and saturday nights. We are super busy those nights. Reservations are booked months in advance and there is usually a line of customer waiting all around the block for a table, so I super excited about that. I start that next week.

And due to all the great changes that have occured this last week, my stress level has been tremendously reduced and the whole house just seems happier. Andy and I are getting along so well, the kids seem more relaxed and are happy that they don’t have to share mommy anymore and everyone is smiling. God really has been great to us and we SO do not deserve it. I am in awe of His goodness and have never been so thankful. He is amazing.

I’ve had a song that I’ve just been playing over and over again all week. It’s been a favorite of mine for awhile, but it’s never meant as much to me as it does now:

CALL ON JESUS by Nicole C. Mullen 

Verse 1:
I’m so very ordinary, nothing special on my own.
Oh, I have never walked on water,
And I have never calmed a storm.
Sometimes I’m hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who’s afraid of the dark

Chorus:
But when I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles’ and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
‘Cause He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call

Verse 2:
Weary brother, broken daughter,
widowed, widowed lover, you’re not alone
If you’re tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can’t find the strength to carry on

Chorus:
When you call on Jesus,
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles’ and soar
When you call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
‘Cause He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you–

Bridge:
Call Him in the mornin’, in the afternoon time
Late in the evenin’ He’ll be there
When your heart is broken,
And you feel discouraged,
You can just remember that He said
He’ll be there

Chorus (2x):
When I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles’ and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
‘Cause He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call

I’m living on the edge…of insanity.

CAUTION: The following material may not be suitable for those contemplating marriage, having children or becoming a stay-at-home mother.  It may include-but is not limited to-ranting, raving, venting and bitchiness. You have been for-warned. Proceed with caution.

I want this week to be over. Actually, I want this chapter in my life to come to an ubrupt end.  I love my husband. I love my children. I love the little boy I watch.  Now, that I’ve said that, please give me one moment to do something, I desperately need to do: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that didn’t work.

So, things started heading south last friday. I woke up in a GREAT mood. Andy was off that day, I didn’t have to babysit, and we were going to spend the day as a family. We were going to take the boys to Chuck E. Cheese’s that afternoon, then it was “First Friday” at our church, where they offer FREE childcare from 6-9 pm in order for the parents to date.  We were stoked. Then Connor woke up with a fever of 102. So, there went the day. I ’spring-cleaned’ the house and was more tired that day, than I usually am. Saturday, we were suppose to go to a birthday party, but Andy and I ended up butting heads in major way and spent most of the day not speaking to each other. We knew that neither one of us were in the mood to speak calmly about anything, and we don’t like to have these ‘discussions’ in front of the children. So we spent the day at home–practically avoiding one another until the kids were in bed. We talked for a few hours and we are trying to fix some things in our marriage/home. He feels that he does not receive respect as the head of this household. I bluntly told him, that it was not just a title—and he needed to step up and DO the job. I told him that I do agree that I could treat him alot better and repect him more, and he agreed that he does throw the majority of his responsiblities my way.  We agreed that he needs to be the main disciplinarian for the boys and that it won’t kill him to help with some household chores every now and then; especially since I was looking for a part-time evening job. We both got alot of things off our chests and we are better now.

Sunday, I sat down and talked to the parents of the little boy that I have been babysitting.  I explained that even after the many ‘talks’ we have had about some troubling issues, that I was not seeing any change in them and that I was looking for an evening job, and that they would need to begin actively searching for a new childcare provider. I explained that I was tired of not being paid on time, that I felt that they do not respect my time and that it is evidenced in the facts that they never call when they are late ( and we are talking VERY late) and they are constantly imposing on my weekends, by dropping him off so they can do whatever and not paying any extra. I told them how most daycares will not take a child if he is sick and how their son is ALWAYS sick and passing it along to my children. When I first started watching him, I agreed to do so as long as it worked for both families and now it’s not working for mine. They said that they understood and would begin looking. They dropped him off on monday and he was obviously not feeling well. His dad said he didn’t know what was wrong with him, handed him to me and left. Within the hour, the poor little guy had a fever and was vomitting and it took me over 4 hours to get ahold of his parents. Then they said they would be here in a few minutes and didn’t show up till 4 pm.  I told them not to bring him back till his symptoms were gone. The next morning, the brought him back and by noon, he was sick again. I called them and they would not come get him.   I needed a night out, so my brother-in-law came and sat with boys while Andy and I went to dinner. It was very nice and I even landed a waitressing job and the upscale Italian restaurant where we ate.  I called the parents that night and told them I had found a job and that I was starting the next day. I asked how the daycare search was coming along and she said she hadn’t even called anywhere yet and that they still needed me to watch him. The next morning, while the kids were napping, I called all over our county and compiled a list of daycare openings and prices for her child. To make a very long story short———it is saturday now. I have their son and therefore am currently working 2 jobs.  They still have not called anywhere. I told them I could not do this much longer. I need to have time with my family and that I could be more understanding with the situation IF there were not openings at reliable places for their child. However, I will not put up with their laziness in not looking and that I will not be watching after friday the 18th. I also told them that they needed to have the FULL amount of what they owe me in wages by that date. Now they are being very snotty with me and I’ve just had it with them. I could smack them both and not thing twice about it, but I can’t do that. I’m having a hard time being Christ-like right now.

I’m in a bad mood. I have a lot of things to do today. My youngest son thought it would be funny to throw poop at me today and my husband is taking his sweet-ass time mowing the grass in order to avoid the chaos of three small children in the house.  I’m at the edge…….I can see the mental ward and straight jacket in the very near future. I’m tired, angry, frustrated and feel that I am have been completely taken advantage of. I feel that no one respects my time and that no one understands that I am not ‘Super Woman.’  I can’t do it all, ALL of the time. I feel unappreciated and I’m ready for things to change. One thing that I am happy with, is the fact that I am only going to have to work 3 nights a week at my new job and most girls are tipping out at $150 each of those nights…so, more money for less hours.  I’m just ready to close this chapter in the book of my life, let go of people that are just using me and begin to make time for myself. I need this time to take care of me so that I can be the wife and mother God has intended for me to be. I need this to come soon. Very, very soon. 

Shaken and stirred

So, things are still in the process of changing in the Rounds household. The last ditch effort to get Andy’s class date bumped up to allow us to receive the hefty bonus, seems to have failed. So, maybe God has something else in mind for us. For now, Andy has decided to not go to school now and just continue with the job he is currently doing.

Landon has been to the doctor several times lately. They had tested him for type 1 diabetes and thankfully, everything is fine and he does not have it. He has really been struggling with his asthma over the past few months and the doctors here have been switching medications over and over again, trying to find something that will control it, and so far, nothing is working. He is now getting 5 breathing treatments through the nebulizer each day and is on steroids. We took him back for a re-check and they doctors were absolutely stunned, because there is still a significant wheeze on his right side and lots of crackling on the left. They are sending us for some tests on the 14th and one is for cystic fibrosis….we are really praying that it comes back negative. The doctors here feel that they are no longer equipped to deal with his chronic asthma and have referred him to a pulmonoligist at UNC Chapel Hill and we have an appointment scheduled for 8:30 am on April 22nd. We are praying for some answers and for a good report and for the doctors to be able to find a treatment plan that will help him. It’s scary to see your child’s lips turn blue due to his dropping oxygen levels. But God is bigger than an earthly physician and we have put Landon in His hands.

Meanwhile, my day-to-day stress levels have been getting out of hand. I always seem to have too much to do and not enough time to it, because I’m ‘grounded’ to my house taking care of my kids and the child that I babysit. I love the little guy that I watch, but certain situations with his parents and my ‘paycheck’ have forced us into the decision that I am not going to be able to keep for much longer. We have discussed common courtesies with his parents, such as calling when you are going to be late, and don’t write me a check that your bank account will not cover…..and so forth, yet they haven’t quite got the ‘hint.’  So, I have applied for a few part-time jobs, that would allow me to work nights and saturdays, so that I don’t have to put my boys into day care. Andy is home at 4:30 on weekdays and is off on the weekends. I had an interview at Puppetto’s (family-owned Italian restaurant) yesterday that went very well and I also had a great meeting today with the store manager at Hollywood Video today and he asked me to come in for a second interview tomorrow. I think I would really like working at the video store and am hoping that it works out. I’m going to sit down with the parents of the little boy that I watch, this weekend and explain that I am not leaving them “high and dry” and that I will continue to watch him during the day until they find adequate care for him, but I have already compiled a list of daycares in our area that have openings for him. I am actually looking forward to getting out the house and interacting with adults and I think I may actually be a better mother to my boys, if I do get that break. Andy is also looking forward to having alone time with the boys, too, and hopes to build a stronger bond with them. The only thing is that Andy and I will not have as much time together and we will be forced to MAKE time to keep a strong marriage. We are no strangers to “time apart” and it does help that we have his brother here and some good friends to rely on as babysitters when we need that quality time.  So, we’re really praying hard for this situation to work out, if it’s in God’s will for us. I am a little excited and happy about a small disruption in our monotanous lifestyle. Every now and then, you gotta mix it up.

Short and sweet

Life is complicated, but it could always be worse.

Kids grow up way too fast.

There is a difference between “time” and “quality time.”

You don’t always get what you want.

Plans change.

Dreams get shattered.

There is always hope.

Things DO get better.

God may say ‘no,’ but sometimes there’s a greater “yes.”

Happy Easter!

It’s FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!! This week has gone by pretty fast.  I only had to watch “my other kid” 4 days this week, since his parents are now on leave. That freed up my morning today, so I got to go to school with Connor this morning and help out with their Easter Party. I LOVE watching him with the other kids and was impressed with his behavior.  I really enjoyed myself and Landon had fun as well.  We left school and met up with Andy and Shane at Chick-fil-a for lunch and then the boys and I came home and took a nap.  I had a lazy afternoon, so we decided to order in Chinese for dinner, which was yummy. Andy and Shane stayed with boys while I ran some errands. I paid the cell phone bill and was happily surprised when they told me that there was a billing error on their part and I had a $27 credit..that’s always nice. Then I exchanged some stuff at Old Navy for Connor and found some more cute things on sale and even picked myself up an awesome shirt for $7.99. Then I hit Ross’s for their dress sale and walked out of there with 2 adorable spring dresses for under $30! I LOVE SALES!!! Especially since I never buy myself anything.  I don’t feel as guilty when I do indulge myself, if I get a great buy. And speaking of great buys…..2 years ago I bought Andy  a 48 inch HDTV and  we got it at a discounted price since it was the store model. We saved $400 on it and I was happy to buy it for him as his Welcome back from Iraq/Happy B-day/Merry Christmas present.  He loved it!!!   Well, a few weeks ago, a freind of his told him about a great deal he had got on a new LCD tv and ever since then, Andy has had the itch for a bigger TV.  I was not thrilled at all with the idea,  but told him if he could sell this one for a descent price and put the money towards a new one, then I would ‘allow’ this.  We ended up getting $600 for this tv and got a GREAT deal on a new 65 inch LCD tv and the company  gave us a significant discount on it AND threw in a stand that will fit into our huge wall unit.  They were bending over backwards for us as soon as we mentioned going to visit their competitors… : )  So, tomorrow, his buddy is coming to get the old tv and is even giving us a free 24 inch tv for our room…..the one in our room now is only a 12 inch. And the new HUGE tv is getting delivered between noon and 2pm.  Andy is like a kid on Christmas Eve!!! Men are so funny!

We have a few fun things planned for this weekend, too. Tomorrow morning is the base’s egg hunt and they always give out good stuff and the kids have a blast. Plus they have the car show and other things going on too. Sunday is Easter and we are going to church and then I get to come home and cook! I am excited—-seriously! I love making big dinner and we have 3 other families coming over to join us. I bought a gi-normous ham and I can’t wait to make it!   It’s going to be fun to have everyone together. Andy will have his friends, I will have mine and the boys will both have their “girlfriends” over. I just hope the weather holds out for a egg hunt in our backyard…the dogs have given us a jumpstart on some hiding place with all the holes they have dug…grrrrr.  I just hope this weekend is fun and I’m praying this next week goes smoothly, as Connor is out of school and can get a little crazy!!!! Next weekend, I will definitely be napping!

God bless the American housewife

SHeDaisy

Look at me,I’m gorgeous in my housecoat with my coffee cup
I bend down to get the paper,every neighbor tryin’ to check me out
Look at me,I’m lovely as I wave beside my minivan
Look at how my diamonds seem to sparkle on the garbage can

Chorus:
God bless the American housewife
How she does it all I’ll never know
God bless the American housewife
She could use a miracle for sure
God bless the American housewife
Cleanin’ up the world for you and me
God bless the American housewife
(Ah Ah Ah Ah AH)

Look at how my children play Commando in the cul-de-sac
Look at how my husband has survived another heart attack
Look at all the other mothers envious of all my things
Have to call the plummer Cause my daughter flushed my wedding ring

(Repeat Chorus)

Look at me, I’m beautiful and glamorous in rubber gloves
Look how my tiara can be bent back to the shape it was
I can do the laundry and make dinner while I’m on the phone
Look at me, I’m sexy as the devil when I mow the lawn

Chorus 2x

How she does it all I’ll never know
God bless the American housewife

um….

Today is one of those days where I feel like I’ve been so busy, yet look around the house and see that not alot was accomplished.

I was sick on my birthday yesterday, so I didn’t get anything done. Thankfully, Andy and his brother cleaned up the kitchen and took care of the kids last night. But by me not doing anything yesterday, made today’s job harder.

I took the babies with me this morning to drop Connor off at school, then we went to Wal-mart—not a fun task when you have a 15 month old and an 11 month old with you. Ugh! We left there and came home and as I’m pulling into the driveway, I push the button for the garage door and out runs Miley—the new dog.  I must not have shut the door that leads from the kitchen to the garage all the way, so as soon as the main garage door opens, she bolts up the street so I have to chase her up to the next block while juggling the babies. Hey, I guess that constitutes as a work-out.

By the time I get the dog and the babies in the house, I only have 30 minutes before I have to leave again to pick Connor up from school. I throw a load of clothes in my dryer and turn it on and it starts making some awful noise. Thankfully, it’s under warrenty so I call the store who lets me talk to their service man who tells me to try several trouble-shooting taks. I leave to get Connor and I feed them all lunch and get them to bed. I try all the things the service man suggested—including unhooking the vent hose and lettting the dryer run a full cycle, which did nothing but fill the laundry  (ceiling included) with lint. Thanks, man! So, I call him back and he says he wants to come look at it…GREAT! Then he says he doesn’t have a base pass, so now I have to wake up the kids (that just got to sleep) and drag them to the Visitor’s Center with me to get this guy a pass. We get back, the man makes a huge mess of my laundry room, but fixes the dryer. The kids won’t go back to sleep, so they are all grumpy and Landon is now running a fever and pulling on his ears. Oh joy! I call the doctor who has agreed to see him at 6 tonight, except I am suppose to have nursery duty at church. I spend an hour calling other members of the church before I finally find someone to switch weeks with. While I’m on the phone, Landon got into the spice cabinet—spun the ‘lazy susan’ tray around until all the bottles came flying out. While I clean that up, he sneaks a bottle of blue cake sprinkles and gets them open and covers himself and my floor with them. I clean it up and decide to check on the dogs that have been outside since the dryer guy left, only to find they’ve been working diligently on digging their way to China. Andy will flip when he sees the back yard.

Now, it’s 5:15. Andy just got home and he’s going to start dinner. I’m going to leave in a few minutes to take Landon to the doctor and then I get to come home and do all the things that didn’t get done today. I’m wore from doing nothing.  What a day!

There is always HOPE

So I should’ve updated this on friday, but we’ve been crazy busy…and a little stressed. So, anyways, Andy’s commander here knows the commander at K9 school and he is in the process of pulling some strings to get Andy’s class date moved up. There is one starting the end of March, 2 in April and 2 in May—all of which will get him back here in time to re-enlist for the bonus.  They told him to be prepared to leave on a very short notice, as it is highly likely that he will get approved for an earlier date. If by chance, he doesn’t get bumped up, then he will be going to Iraq the end of April. Things are supposed to be sorted out and we should know what’s going on by the end of this week…hopefully.  Still alot of uncertainty, but we have prayed about it and handed in all over to God and He knows what is best for us.  I know I  can handle it, know matter what the answer is. This is not our first ’separation’……we’ve been apart for 13 months when he was in S. Korea, 6 months when he was in An Nasariyah, Iraq and then 8 months when he was in Mosul. That doesn’t include all the times he’s been gone for training, too. I’m kinda used to it, by now, but I still hate it. But I am very proud of the sacrifices my husband makes for our family and our country.

Another concern that recently exposed itself, is that the doctors have been very concerned about Landon. He had alot of problems with his sugar levels when he was first born—I didn’t even get to see him for 8 hours!!!!  He was very sick with a virus and a bacterial infection 2-3 weeks ago and they did alot of lab work trying to figure out the cause of the infection, which turned out to be something minor and a round of anti-biotics took care of it. However, they noticed a few ‘red flags’ as they told me and called me on friday to ask me several questions about his eating and drinking habits and they said that just to be on the safe side, they wanted him to be screened for type 1 diabetes.  I freaked. I already have a child with autism, my hubby will be leaving shortly and now this. But, again, we prayed with our Pastor and they did some more lab work on Landon yesterday afternoon and I have to take him back on the 18th ( a week from today) to follow-up. Another uncertainty in lives. But God is good and He knows our limits and will provide for us and meet all of our needs. We just need to keep the faith and not get discouraged.

a bump in the road

Or I guess it’s really just a change in plans. Funny how that happens!

So he’s not going to go K9 school. He is instead re-enlisting as a regular cop and volunteering to go back to Iraq the end of April for 6 months.  Oh JOY!  No re-enlistment bonus and no sex for 6 months…boy, will I ever be fun to deal with!

Sexually deprived for your freedom—–Charlotte

outraged

I am in the worse mood ever!!!!!!! I am so sick of getting screwed over by the military!!! They have no re-enlistment bonus for the regulat Security Forces job—which my husband  does now. They DO have a $23,000 ($17,000 after taxes) that they the cops in the K9 section. So, Andy decided to cross-train to K9 to get the bonus. They scheduled his class date for June 10 and he graduates on August 27—–seven days past his regular re-enlistment date.  He went and talked to the the people in charge of the bonuses and they told him he could still get the bonus, so he accepted the class dates. Now, today, they tell him we will NOT get the bonus because he needs to re-enlist on or before August 20th and he can’t do it till he graduates Tech School. They will not even try to move his class date up two weeks early and so now we are screwed out the money that we desperately need. Both of our cars are giving us issues and we were going to use part of the money we get up front ($8,000) to put toward new cars and pay off the rest of our debts and then still  be very well off financially.  They don’t know how hard it has been on us financially since I had to quit my job to take care of Connor when he was diagnosed with epilepsy.  This was our way out; meal ticket and now it’s gone ! I’m so upset right now. I don’t see how things are ever going to get better for us money-wise.  We are screwed!!!!!!!  And now, they take my husband away from me for 3 months to go to school to do something he didn’t even really want to do–he was just doing it to help out our family and they’ve ruined it for us!!! I hate the Air Force and I want out sooooooooooooo bad! I am the most upset I have been in a really long time. I am really hating life right now!